ASMAA, A Counseling Psychologist

BEAUTIFUL SOUL: Young Personality Profile

20th Rabi-ul thani, 1437                                               Bismillaahir Rahmaanir Raheem

Assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barkaatuhu dear sisters. We are glad to

bring to you the story of Asmaa Bint Ayyub for you to draw inspiration from. We

keenly await all your inputs; suggestions, lessons, etc. Smiles.

MAIDA:        

Assalaamu alayki warahmatullah wabarakatuhu sister Asmaa. I trust you are doing well. I am Maidat and I would like to chat with you for a bit if you don’t mind.

ASMAA:          

Wa alaikis salaam warahmatullah wabarakatu. Alhamdulilah I am good and how about you? I don’t mind at all.

MAIDA:        

I am doing good, Alhamdullilah. So, who is Asmaa Bint Ayyub?

ASMAA:

I grew up in Nima. Had my secondary education at Ghana-Lebanon Islamic High School and continued to the University of Ghana where I had my first degree in Psychology. I continued further for masters in Counseling Psychology at the Methodist University. I have a passion for the advancement of the status of the girl child. I am a Counseling Psychologist and an advocate and trainer in Girls and Children's Rights.  I am married with three children.

MAIDA:        

Maa shaa Allah! I am already in love with your profile.

ASMAA:  

I am humbled

MAIDA:

So how do you manage family life and your career as a mum?

ASMAA:       

Alhamdulilah, it’s not been all greasy and easy. There are two people who have helped me through balancing between career and home. My mum has been very supportive in spending time with the kids especially between the end of maternity leave until they start school. My husband also shares in my dreams and thus is supportive and encouraging.
In the midst of all these, I always strike a good balance. I don't come back home too late. I make time no matter how little it is to engage the children every day.  I thank Allah. I try my best to create a healthy and balanced life. Alhamdulilah, that is what keeps me going.

MAIDA:

Maa shaa Allah! That is great to know. Where do you practice the Counseling Psychology? Do you have your own establishment or are you under any organization?

ASMAA:       

Currently am working with GLISS as the School’s Counselor. I also serve on a number of NGO's as a volunteer Counselor and I personally run an NGO where I serve as a peer Counselor trainer.

MAIDA:        

Awww! Maa shaa Allah! I am very much impressed.

ASMAA:       

Am humbled

MAIDA:        

Counseling is my passion so I guess we would talk more on that behind the curtains because I want to be a Counselor someday in shaa Allah.

ASMAA:       

Maa shaa Allah! I am ready to give any guidance or assistance you may need in shaa Allah

MAIDA:        

In shaa Allah!

MAIDA:

So why is Asmaa a Muslimah?

ASMAA:

Alhamdulilah I am a Muslimah first by Allah's mercy and favour. Now each time I look at this mercy and favour of being a Muslimah, I know I have a purpose in this life. This purpose is to constantly reconnect with Allah. Aside saying my sallah and observing all other pillars of Islam, I have chosen to use my tongue and character to stay a Muslimah in shaa Allah and to reawaken the desire in other Muslimah's to stay put. I keep my identity as a Muslimah with pride and total confidence in Allah for He has favoured me. So being a Muslimah, I call it a favour and I always pray to Allah to continuously grant me this favour.

MAIDA:

Alhamdullilah, it is a favour indeed.

MAIDA:

Any favourite Surah?

ASMAA:       

Yes! My favourite surah is Al-Imran.

MAIDA:

Maa shaa Allah! Any special reason?

ASMAA:

Due to the nature of my life and work, I come into contact with people of diverse faith and religion. From the beginning of the Surah, Allah has stated the unambiguous nature and true words of the Quran. Allahu Akbar! Each time I read this Surah, I always have this inner joy and firm believe to move on with what I believe in. For example, verse 3 of the Surah says; "He has revealed this Book to you, setting forth the Truth and confirming the earlier Books, and He revealed the Torah and the Gospel."

MAIDA:

Maa shaa Allah!

MAIDA:

Do you have any hadith you draw inspiration from?

ASMAA:

Not one particular hadith. I try to read many ahaadith and draw inspiration from them. I also try in my own way to put the lesson from the hadith into practice. But in my work to reawaken the importance of education to the girl child as much as the boy child, the hadith that is always on my lips is the hadith where Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) says; ‘Seeking knowledge is mandatory upon all Muslims’ both men and women.

MAIDA:        

Maa shaa Allah! So if I am to host Asmaa as my dinner guest, what food would she request?

ASMAA:

I am actually not a choosy person when it comes to food but vegetable rice with gravy and beef will do.

MAIDA:

Mmm! Yummy! I must prepare this one of these days so I could invite you over.

ASMAA:

Hahahaha! in shaa Allah! I would be grateful.

MAIDA:

What brings joy to you?

ASMAA:

Simply; seeing others around me happy. Knowing I have given others a reason to laugh.

MAIDA:

Interesting!

MAIDA:

Looking at your profile, do you have any leisure time? If yes how do you spend it?

ASMAA:       

Yes I do. I go out with friends. We go to the beach and and other interesting places. At other times, I go out with my family. It is just about planning. But when I want to stay indoors I play an indoor game, watch movies or just sleep some more.

MAIDA:

Sounds interesting. So what's your favorite indoor game and which movie do you enjoy watching?

ASMAA:

We play ludu or scrabble. I usually watch comedy movies. Or cartoons sometimes

MAIDA:

Smilling!

MAIDA:

Can you share one of your happiest moments in life with me?

ASMAA:

Alhamdulilah! One of the happiest moments in my life was when I had my first child. An opportunity given to me by Allah to directly nurture and train a child. It was truly an awesome feeling.

MAIDA:

Awww! Sweet! May Allah bless them all. Aamin

ASMAA:

Aameen thuma Aameen sis.

MAIDA:

Have you experienced sadness in life? Could you share any?

ASMAA:       

The greatest pain that ever struck through my heart was the death of my sister who I directly follow. She was someone who shares in my life goals and believed in me even when I wasn't really so sure of my path in life as a young and naive girl. In all things we say Alhamdulilah. Allah knows best

MAIDA:

Indeed Allah knows best! May Allah grant her Rahma. Aamin

ASMAA:

Aameen thuma Aameen.

MAIDA:

How do you handle stress and unforeseen setbacks?

ASMAA:

Alhamdulilah! I am a very optimistic person and so whenever something doesn't go as planned, I quickly switch to another plan. I never say I failed because in shaa Allah, I make sure I do my possible best.
Taking time out to unwind with friends and family as well as taking a break away from the stress factors to ease my head works well for me.

MAIDA:

Alhamdullilah!

MAIDA:

Who would you define as a successful person?

ASMAA:

Being a Muslimah, being successful is when all what you do and all you have is sincerely for the sake of Allah. Pleasing Allah is the ultimate success.

MAIDA:        

So what did you consider as priority before choosing your husband as the one for you?

ASMAA:

Alhamdulilah! What was priority was the fact that he is a praying Muslim and he has fear of Allah and respect for me.

MAIDA:

Maa Shaa Allah!

MAIDA:

Do you love traveling and exploring?

ASMAA:

Yes, I do like travelling mainly because I like to explore. Exploring gives me ideas on initiatives that are worthy to embark on.

MAIDA:

Wow! That is good! Which of your exploration was the most memorable?

ASMAA:

For now, my travel to Senegal this August is so far the most memorable.

MAIDA:

Any special reason for that?

ASMAA:

Yes, I met an old man of over 70 years who has devoted his life to ensuring that parents educate their children; both the girls and the boys alike and using his influence as an Imam of his community to do that.
I also met a 60 year old Muslim woman Engineer who fixes solar bulbs in her community. I was truly inspired and I identified with them as parents as they are Muslims and I knew I have no excuse in helping to better my community.

MAIDA:

Maa shaa Allah! Alhamdullillaah! What is your favourite saying?

ASMAA:

‘The greatest source of emotional pain is the negative things you say to yourself.’

MAIDA:

Mmm! Something for the deep thinkers! So if I am to bring you a bouquet of different shades of flowers which colour would you prefer most?

ASMAA:

Orange, purple and green

MAIDA:

Which temperament group do you belong to?

ASMAA:

I rarely categorize myself under a single group. But predominantly, I associate with sanguine and phlegmatic types. 

MAIDA:

Maa shaa Allah! So what's the most challenging thing you've ever done?

ASMAA:

Most challenging thing was when I had to battle between a heavy pregnancy, a Master’s programme, work and taking care of the older child. I know too well that it was only Allah azza wa jal who saw me through.

MAIDA:

Allahu Akbar! May Allah reward you. Aamin

ASMAA:

Aameen and you too.

MAIDA:

Aamin.

MAIDA:

What is your greatest fear?

ASMAA:

With no doubt my greatest fear is incurring the wrath of my Creator through negatively affecting people with my character or tongue. For that reason, I am always cautious when I deal with people. I try not to be unfair or bias.

MAIDA:

Maa shaa Allah! How do you see Asmaa in ten years in shaa Allah?

ASMAA:

I see myself as an authority in Islamic knowledge, a seasoned community psychologist and an Advocate who would serve as a voice for the voiceless.

MAIDA:

Maa shaa Allah! That is great! So if you are given the chance, what would you love to change in our society?

ASMAA:

The perception people have about women and girls. Our fathers and brothers need to go back to how our Holy prophet, peace be upon him, treated women and how he taught the believing men to view women. It is unfortunate what is happening now. Our girls are seen as less important in most homes with complete bias and this has continuously created sibling rivalry and enmity.

MAIDA:

Hmmm!

MAIDA:

In shaa Allah! Great insights there. I hope readers take note.

ASMAA:

In shaa Allah!

MAIDA:

Any role models?

ASMAA:

My first role model is my Mum. Unfortunately she is a victim of "girls need not be educated" but after having children and recognizing the relevance of education to the girl child as much as to the boy child, she vowed to make everything possible through thick and thin to ensure we are all educated. Alhamdulilah, today all her nine children are educated both Islamiyah and secular.

MAIDA:

Maa shaa Allah! May Allah bless her.

ASMAA:

Aameen. Aside her, I have other few women and men I look up to but if it is not too much to ask I would like to keep them to myself because I have not asked them if I could mention them publicly.

MAIDA:

Alright, I understand.

ASMAA:

Thanks.

MAIDA:

Are you a pet lover?

ASMAA:

I like Rabbits although I don't have any yet probably because I don’t have the right space for them yet but I really like rabbits and they have the power to draw my full attention wherever I find them.

MAIDA:

Wow interesting!

MAIDA:

List five words that stand for your principles in life?

ASMAA:

·         Integrity

·         Respect

·         Love

·         Sincerity

·         Optimism

MAIDA:

Good! Any advice for the young Muslimah?

ASMAA:

Stand for what you believe in, make sure that whatever you do, the ultimate aim is to please Allah. Don’t create limits for yourself because that is the greatest weapon to failure. Remember, life is worth it when you also impact positively on the lives of others. Stick to your values!

MAIDA:

Powerful! I love the last phrase; ‘Stick to your values!’ Alhamdullilah, Its been nice chatting with you. Jazaakillaahu khayr for your time despite your busy schedule.

ASMAA:

It’s been nice chatting with you as well. I am humbled and privileged.
Aameen. Wa iyyaaki.

ASMAA:

Could you tell me something about you?

MAIDA:

I am Maidatu Naa Amiokor Attoh a graduate of the University of Ghana.

ASMAA:

I am glad to know you. May Allah bless your good works.

MAIDA:

Aamin. Before we finally wrap up, your final words to the general Muslim Ummah!      

ASMAA:

Let us have some respect for human dignity and also strive to live exemplary life and be change makers in our own corners.

MAIDA:

Maa shaa Allah. Once more thank you very much for your time. May Allah grant you success in this world and in the Hereafter. Aamin. Assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barkaatuhu.

ASMAA:

My pleasure. Aameen thuma Aameen and you too. Wa alaykum salaam wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barkaatuhu.

'Asmaa is such a sweet soul. She is wonderful and beautiful in and out. I was blessed with the pleasure of meeting my sister from another mother during the first ever Islamic Reality Show, Annujuum. She became like an elder sister I never had. So sweet and gentle. Although we were in a competition, she never minded helping me out if I needed it. It's been almost 7 years since our acquaintance and I can only say that Asmaa is such a great soul and that the Muslim community is blessed to have her.' 

Tasneem Mohammed (Student, Islamic University)

'Asmaa is very calm, gentle and neat. You know, from SHS, she held the position of Girl's Prefect and she is very knowledgeable in the Deen. She seems to have the right words for everything. Everything she says is so full of sense. She always stands out in everything. She is also very intelligent. Her three kids are beautiful and smart. You should see them. And after her Masters especially, she is doing so much for the community. Going on outreaches to schools to talk to the kids. When we were in school, even though she was the youngest, you will think she is the oldest because she acted so mature.'

Rahmat Iyabo Braimah (Old student; Islamic University; works at Melcom, Head Office)

Our host Maidatu Naa Amiokor Attoh graduated with BA in Economics and linguistics from the University of Ghana and she is currently working as a Purchasing Assistant at Community Clinic and Health Services. She is a people’s person and she loves to inspire people to greatness. Her greatest joy is seeing people happy and knowing that she is a part of the reason behind their smile.

NOTE: If you want any young Muslimah featured on this Personality Profile, contact +233 0279 07 34 10 on whatsapp.

Jazaakumullaahu khairan always!

Love fiisabilillaah

Rubaba Elhaam Mmahajia Rahma Sabtiu-Morla

www.strivingbeautifulsoul.blogspot.com
www.mmahajia.blogspot.com

www.letterstomydotas.blogspot.com 
www.rubabawords.blogspot.com
www.beforehermarriage.blogspot.com

EMPTY AND REFILL: Asking for Him

 A Beautiful Soul Series: Two

Bismillaahir Rahmaanir Raheem.

Assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barkaatuh.

Allaahumma sualli 'alaa sayyidinaa Muhammad wa 'alaa aalihii wa ashaabihi wa sallam.

Alhamdulillaah for everything…in the first series of BSS, we tried to get the understanding that to be a beautiful soul, we needed to concentrate our energy on our hearts because Allah azza wa jal and His beloved final Messenger, make it clear to us that our hearts are all that will matter at the end of this journey called life.

We understood that we needed to work on this heart from the time we become conscious of its importance in our relationship with Allah azza wa jal both in this world and the Hereafter to our end…death. And of course, with each second, minute, hour, day, month, year, etc., that passes, we will always have work to do with our hearts…towards attaining the ‘Qalbun Saleem’ ‘Sound Heart.’ May Allah azza wa jal grant us ease in this venture. Aameen.

In this series two of BSS, I would like to look at ‘filling our hearts up with Allah azza wa jal.’

We know too well that we must love Allah azza wa jal above all else…and then His final Messenger, suallallaahu ta’alaa alayhi wa sallam, next. It is also ‘too’ easy to say (being Muslims) that we love them most. However, when we put ourselves to individual tests, we find ourselves failing at proving this claim miserably.

Question:

Who do you think about last before you go to sleep and who do you remember first when you wake up?

Note:

Whoever you name could probably be the one you love most…well, that is an experiment an Islamic Scholar I listened to suggested everyone carried out…I do not agree that if it isn’t Allah azza wa jal you think about, then you do not love Him most but to a great extent, it could be so…

Consider this…

The du’a before sleeping links our hearts to Allah azza wa jal before we close our eyes and are gone…It says;

‘Bismika Allaahumma amuutu wa ahyaa’

Meaning: ‘In Your name, O Allah! I die and I live’

The du’a when we wake up from sleep does the same…

‘Alhamdulillaahil lazee ahyaanaa ba’ada maa amaatanaa wa ilayhin nushuur’

Meaning: ‘All praise is for Allah who gave us life after having taken it from us and unto Him is the Resurrection.‘

So, if we are keen adherers of this practice of seeking Allah’s protection before sleep and thanking Him, azza wa jal, when we wake up, then we might pass this test, all conditions being equal.

What does your Heart Contain?

The shahada, among the things that make us Muslims, says;

‘Laa ilaaha illallaah, Muhammadu Rasuulullaah’

The two parts of the shahada is;

1.      The emptying part

2.      The filling part

The Emptying Part

For Allah azza wa jal to reside in our hearts, of course, we should know that we cannot keep other things that are at par with Him, azza wa jal, in that same heart. We cannot want absolutely anything else more than we want Him azza wa jal. We cannot seek the pleasure of absolutely anything else more than we seek His, azza wa jal’s pleasure. It is as simple as that and He, subhaanahu wa ta’aalaa puts this requirement beautifully in this ayah;

‘“Say: If it be that your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your mates, or your kindred; the wealth that you have gained; the commerce in which you fear a decline: or the dwellings in which you (seek) delight – are dearer to you than Allah, or His Messenger, or the striving in His cause; then wait until Allah brings about His decision: and Allah guides not the rebellious”

Surat At-Taubah, the Repentance, Chapter 9 ayah 24

Now! The criteria of His, Gloried be He above all else’s love, is clear enough.

We empty our hearts by agreeing that indeed there is absolutely no deity, god or goddess, nothing anywhere that we can possibly think of or not think of that is God…

We say; ‘Laa ilaaha…’ ‘There is no god…’ thereby emptying our hearts of any possibility of putting anyone there that is not God, Allah, azza wa jal.

The Filling Part

When we are done agreeing on the fact that there is no god…then now we come to fill our hearts up with the one who owns the heart…Allah azza wa jal and His beloved Messenger through whom we know Him, the Prophet Muhammad, suallallaahu alayhi wa sallam.

We say; ‘illallaah, Muhammadu Rasuulullaah…’ ‘Except Allah and Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah’ thereby admitting that He, Allah, azza wa jal is the only God we know and will ever know.

May Allah, subhaanahu wa ta’aalaa grant us the understanding of His Oneness and Supremacy over every other thing in detail. Aameen.

Both Parts are a Process

Now, what I am saying is not that by just believing in and uttering the shahada, one achieves a status of having emptied the heart of anything that is not Allah azza wa jal and filled it up with Him, jalla jalaaluhu, alone right away. No! And that is because the whole emptying and filling aspects of the shahada is a ‘process,’ a ‘means’ that is towards the achievement of only Allah azza wa jal in the heart.

We must also note that this ‘process’ is not a one day agenda; it is a matter of a lifetime.

The people who believe in Allah azza wa jal and who seek to please Him solely struggle within and without themselves every day in order to impress Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aalaa. May Allah, Al-Ghaniyyul Hameed, make us among them. Aameen.

Humans, we are Insatiable

Yes, whatever we are given, we want more. When Allah azza wa jal grants us one desire, then another desire crops up. We want more of wealth, good health, children, fame, power, more, more, more…etc. 

That is the situation that the human being who does not work against his or her natural inclination to these worldly desires finds him or herself in…wanting more always. Never content with little! Never content with enough! Never content even with so much! At any given time, we just really want more.

Once I listened to a lecture by one of my favourite humans in this life, Imam Hassan Cisse (he lived a beautiful life…smiles), who said something profound. He said;

‘May Allah give us Allah!’

I was caught in the air. He said that after explaining in detail how no matter what Allah azza wa jal gives us, we would want more but if we have Allah azza wa jal Himself, then in Him, there is sufficiency.

This du’a was like everything I have ever believed in which I could not put into words. Being someone who cared so much the state of being of my heart, I thought that the only thing that will really give that true satisfaction and calm that the heart needed to be stable in this Dunya was Allah azza wa jal Himself. So I prayed;

‘May Allah, Al-Mujeeb, give us Allah for in Him, there is sufficiency.’ Aameen.

When Allah gives us Allah

I understood this simply as when everything that we surround ourselves with remind us of our Creator, the fact that we live for the purpose of solely worshiping Him and the fact that we will stand before Him to give account of our every act in this life. The people who connect with us because of Him, azza wa jal, and who help us to draw closer to Him. 

We have Allah azza wa jal when we are able to remember Him always whether in our happy moments or sad ones. We have Allah azza wa jal when we are content with everything that He gives us. We have Him when we recognise the uncountable blessings He puts in our lives. We have Allah azza wa jal when we love and hate that which He loves and hates. We have Allah azza wa jal when we strive to do good to others and help them against harm for His sake…e.t.c. The list is endless…

And we must also know and understand that just as the emptying and filling of the heart with Allah azza wa jal is a process, so is ‘having Allah.’

So, the whole of life and living it is a ‘process,’ a ‘struggle’ to take all that He, azza wa jal, doesn’t want out of our hearts, fill it up with Him (all that He wants) and then pray that He, subhaanahu wa ta’aalaa, gives us Himself. Then, our contentment level grows higher and higher as we go further into this ‘process’ ‘struggle’ of focusing on just Him until we reach the peak of contentment.

May Allah azza wa jal cleanse our hearts of all that He detests and fill it up with all that He loves and then give us Himself for in that there is sufficiency in…contentment…happiness…calmness…sereneness…peacefulness…of our hearts. Aameen.

Towards achieving a Qalbun Saleem…may Allah azza wa jal grant us that in ease. Aameen. Jazaakumullaahu khairan always.

Rubaba Mmahajia Rahma Sabtiu
www.strivingbeautifulsoul.blogspot.com
www.mmahajia.blogspot.com

www.letterstomydotas.blogspot.com  
www.rubabawords.blogspot.com
www.beforehermarriage.blogspot.com